with profound insight and scant relevance to public opinions,i now propose the new laws of buzzocaine.. apt yet inept.
1)the chances of an air column entering the IV line is inversely proportional to the the number of times u check the fluid remaining in the vac.
2)law of blood loss estmation: product of the surgeon's estimate and the anesthetist's estimate is always a constant.
3)relevance of an epidural seems to gain importance exponentially when u have a case under spinal anesthesia.
4)the time taken for an epidural is directly proportional to the duration of surgery.
5)top up dose of relaxant in the drug tray is always one dose short.
6)a stilette is always needed when not checked.
7)malfunction of the pilot balloon on enodtracheal tube only occurs in full stomach patients.
8)gauge of the IV canula in situ is directly proportional to the hypovolemic status of the patient.
9)the vac of fluid you want to push fast IV is always punctured!
10)the probability of late reversal is directly proportional to the amount of opiods that u admit was injected (never the truth!)
11)chances of regional techniques failing rises exponentially with the patient's mallampatti score.
12)uterine perforation during MTP happens at 4 pm on friday evening!
13)light of a laryngoscope fails only in difficult airway!
will keep u guys posted!
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